Reactive
Attachment Disorder
WHAT IS ATTACHMENT DISORDER?
A childhood disorder that can rip an adoptive family apart
and can destroy the child if appropriate support is not received.
An attachment disorder is a mental and emotional condition
occurring in the first two years of life that causes a child not to
attach, to bond, or to trust his primary caretaker.
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Children with attachment disorders have trouble trusting
others.
Trusting means to love--and loving hurts.
They have been hurt too deeply.
Loving must be done on their terms so that they will not be hurt again.
They attempt to control everyone and everything in their world.
No one gets into their world, past their barriers,
without proving that they are truly trustworthy.
"Unattached
children...have an uncanny ability to appear attractive, bright, loving...helpless,
hopeless, lost...or promising, creative, and intelligent, as may suit their
needs at the time. Therefore, strangers, helpful neighbors, even therapists,
often see the parents as the problem and believe the winsome child is 'beautiful'.
. ." (Foster Cline, 1979)
Adoptive parents wonder why?
"I'm not the one that hurt him. I am trying to give him love."
To understand the "why",
we must look at the child's life,
especially the first two years.
CAUSES OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER
Any of the following factors, expecially occurring to a child during their
first two years of life, puts a child at high risk of developing an attachment
disorder:
- Maternal drug and/or alcohol use during pregnancy
- Premature birth
- Drug addicted infant
- Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
- Neglect
- Sudden separation from primary caretaker (i.e. illness or death of mother
or chronic illness or hospitalization of child)
- Undiagnosed and/or painful illness (i.e. colic or chronic ear infections)
- Frequent moves or placements
- Inconsistent or inadequate daycare
- Chronic maternal depression
- teenage mothers with poor parenting skills
This is not a diagnostic tool. If you think your child has an attachment
disorder, contact an attachment therapist for an evaluation. Kuddle Kids has
a resource page of over 1000 therapists and support
services that work with childhood abuse and attachment issues.
Understanding the causes of attachment disorder, helps us to understand
why adopted and foster children would have a high propensity towards attachment
difficulties. Generally, the adopted/foster child has covered many of those
categories in his short life.
SYMPTOMS OF ATTACHMENT DISORDER
All or most of these symptoms will be present in an attachment disordered
child.
- Superficially engaging and "charming" Cute is control
and safe
- Lack of eye contact on parents terms
- Indiscriminately affectionate with strangers
- Not affectionate on parents terms
- Destructive to self (accident prone), others, and/or things
- Cruel to animals
- Stealing
- Lying about the obvious (crazy lying)
- No impulse control (frequently acts hyperactive)
- Learning lags
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- Lack of cause and effect thinking
- Lack of conscience
- Abnormal eating patterns (hoarding or gorging on food)
- Poor peer relations
- Preoccupation with fire
- Persistent nonsense questions and/or incessant chatter
- Inappropriately demanding and/or clingy
- Abnormal speech patterns
- Preoccupation with blood and gore
- Extreme control battles
- Parents feel hostile and angry
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