HOW TO CUDDLE 

• Fix a bottle of warm milk or juice and place it close to where you will do the rocking.
• Wrap the child gently in a soft, cuddly blanket
• Hold the child in a nurturing, prone position as you would a baby when you feed them. Placing one of their arms behind you helps to snuggle them close to you.
• Sit in a rocking chair, or sit in a chair in which you can rock the child with your body.
• Rock the child
• While you do so, use a nurturing voice to talk to him.
• Try to get as much eye contact as possible.
• Play games, such as putting cheerios on your nose and asking the child to reach for them.
• Play follow the leader–trace a pattern on their face, and have them trace it on your face.
• sing softly
• tell them stories of when they were babies. If you did not know them as a baby, tell how you would have fed them, bathed them, rocked them.
• Offer them the baby bottle and feed it to them if they want it. Make certain that for a child of any age, that you hold the bottle. Do not allow the child to feed himself or receive it from anyone else. You are promoting the fact that you can take care of his needs!
• Rock and nurture the child until you have had 10-15 minutes of a nurturing, mutually enjoyable rocking time.
• Go through this procedure twice a day

I use this procedure whenever I see the child’s frustration level is getting in the way of behaving appropriately. I do not use the bottle all of the time. I tell the child that I know what he needs and when he needs it. I will take good care of him.

The child may resist at first. Start with short periods of time more often–a couple of minutes several times a day. Include a story time. Telling a story is better than reading one because you can make eye contact. Telling a story about the child, even if he hears it several times a day, usually calms the child.

The child will probably keep asking to go play. Tell him that you know when he has got enough of your love inside of him for him to go play. You will decide when he is done.

Ideas presented were taken from a lecture given by Larry Van Bloem, M.S.W.,C.S.W Feb. 2, 1993 at a DFS Specialized Foster Parent Training Seminar

WHEN SHOULD I CUDDLE