Excerpts taken from
STEP
THE PARENT’S HANDBOOK
by Don Dinkmeyer & Gary D. McKay P.75-82

NATURAL AND LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES

ADVANTAGES OF USING CONSEQUENCES

• It holds children–not their parents–responsible for the children’s behavior
• It allows children to make their own decisions about what courses of action are appropriate
• It permits children to learn from the (impersonal) natural or social order of events.

There are several major differences between logical consequences and punishment:

• Punishment expresses the power of personal authority.
• Logical Consequences express the reality of the social order
• Logical consequences acknowledge mutual rights and mutual respect.
• EXAMPLE:
  Either turn the TV down or play outside. You decide which you’d rather do.

• Punishment is arbitrary or barely related to the logic of the situation
• A logical consequence is related to the misbehavior.
• Example:
  “I can’t vacuum in your room if there are toys and clothes laying around on the floor. So I’ll place them in bags and put them in the basement if you decide not to pick them up.”

• Punishment is personalized and implies moral judgment.
• Logical consequences are impersonal; they imply no element of personal moral judgment.

• Punishment is concerned with past behavior. (“You’re always late”).
• Logical consequences are concerned with present and future behavior.
• Example:
  “I’m sorry, but you’re not ready to take responsibility for coming home on time. We’ll try again tomorrow.”

• Punishment threatens the “offender” with disrespect or loss of love; it is a put-down.
• When logical consequences are invoked, the parent’s voice is friendly and implies good will.

• Punishment demands obedience
• Logical consequences permit choice

Anger, warnings, threat, and reminders may turn a consequence into a punishment.

STEPS IN APPLYING CONSEQUENCES

• Provide choices
  Choice is essential in the use of logical consequences. Alternatives are proposed by the parent and the parent accepts the child’s decision. Then the child makes a choice without external pressure.
• As you follow through with a consequence, give assurance that there will be an opportunity to change the decision later.–Tell them that the decision stands, but that they may try again later.
• If the misbehavior is repeated, extend the time that must elapse before the child may try again. From this point on, the parent should use no words except to assure the child that she or he will have another opportunity to try again, and to state the time.