Cindy Marie

LITTLE CINDY'S ROOM

Our Cabbage Patch Doll

Little Cindy came to our family when she was two years old, as a foster child. She didn't talk or play or laugh.

The first day in our home, I had set her on the couch. She sat so still that when my kids came home from school, they thought I had bought them a little Cabbage Patch Doll.

She stayed where ever I placed her. Never moving, seldom making a sound. She wouldn't get out of bed, or off the couch, or leave the table until we moved her. She walked, dressed herself, and took care of all of her own needs without asking for assistance.

She loved to be held, rocked, and cuddled. She was so cute, but she did not exist emotionally. It took a long time before we were able to bring her spirit to life. It was over a year before she would play on her own without being directed as to what and how to play. She did not speak at all until she was five years old.

It was exciting for us to watch her blossom. Over the years, we have been able to see the laughter come into her eyes. The first time she told me "no" brought tears of joy to my eyes. She had to be taught to recognize what she wanted and make her needs known to us. She had to learn to let us take care of her.

Big and Little Cindy

Cindy Marie

Cynthia Lynn

Big Cindy was about 13 at the time that Little Cindy came into our lives. We thought Little Cindy would be with us a short time, so "big" and "little" seemed to solve the name problem.

Six years later, we adopted little Cindy. We could have changed her name at the time of the adoption, but the name "Cindy" is part of her identity.

Foster and adopted children have problems with their identity--who do they belong to? Who can they love? Do they only exist from the point of the adoption? Does their past exist and can it be talked about?

We chose to let her choose a new middle name and, of course, she got a new last name. That seemed to be enough changes. We have tried to differentiate the two Cindy's by including their middle names when we talk to them. But old habits are hard to break. And so they remain "Big Cindy" and "Little Cindy".